Let me tell you how I’ve failed.
Once upon a time, last weekend, I did food prep for a road trip to Utah. We packed the car, said our prayers and were off. Oh and guess what, I left almost ALL of my food at home.
I was now in no-autoimmunedisorderfriendly-man's land. The thought of hunger made me panic. Also, I wasn’t drinking enough water because who wants to pull over every hour when it’s already late at night and there’s a 1 and 2 year old on board. Not this girl.
We made it. I ate very little that night; nothing I shouldn’t eat, but not enough of what I should. I don’t think a fast-food burger patty, mustard, and iceberg lettuce did me any favors. Same thing the next day. We were on the run from one place to the next and I had to make it up as I went. Still not enough water. Headaches, check. We danced the night away at a wedding reception and I ate a bunch of fruit. I put my food needs on the back-burner. Hellooooo mistake! Here I am just trying to get by again, I'd been doing so well and feeling soooo GOOD!
Sunday comes. A BEAUTIFUL baby miracle of a boy was blessed. We joined our extended family for quality time together and I pretty much just ate a bunch of fruit and pecans.
We drive home. I’m starving and getting rather testy. I’m pretty mad at myself at this point. By Monday morning I am so wasted and dehydrated and migrainey that Atila the Hun would have run for cover and he would have been successful, I wouldn’t have had the energy to go after him. I flatlined. There I was, on my couch at 10 AM, done for the day. I couldn’t even make it to the grocery store. Feelings of failure creeped in. How could I let this happen?!
I had an ‘aha!’ moment, and what an educational moment it was.
I felt exactly like the girl who needed an intervention these last few years. I felt HORRIBLE and I don’t miss that girl at all. The girl who justified feeling crappy because 'I’m just hormonal' or ‘tired' or nursing or not sleeping or whatever. The one who thought, it can’t be what I am eating! Eating can’t really affect my mood or attitude or confidence! PS It does. I. Don’t. Miss. Her. I am thankful that someone told me to take myself seriously. To put more effort into how I feel! That I have the power to change HER!
Mind you, this last weekend, I didn't eaten anything I shouldn't have, but let me stress this: I didn't eat ENOUGH of what I SHOULD. It goes both ways. Not just NOT eating crap, but eating WELL.
France is the one who told me to go for it, to call the clinic, to change my life. He gave me permission to get better. I didn’t ‘NEED' his permission of course, but I NEEDED it. I needed someone to tell me to take ME seriously. I needed someone to tell me it’s okay to write about it and take selfies and be vocal and wage a war on sugar. DO I REALLY ‘NEED' SOMEONE’S PERMISSION!? NO! But oh-my-goodness sometimes it’s the push I need and I'm thankful for it!
If you need someone to tell you to change (it WILL improve your quality life) then find someone or ask me to. Give yourself permission to do this.
But LINDSAY!? We have different bodies and challenges and etc! And it won’t work for me the way it works for you! And I don’t have an autoimmune disease and what you do is not realistic!
Sure it is. :) You will feel better, FEEL BETTER. COOL RIGHT!?
BUT LINDSAY THE WAY YOU EAT IS CRAZYSAUCE!
Good luck. I hope you gave yourself a pat on the back for making a small change today in the way you eat. Or a big one. Or whatever size one. Good job. Go you.
If you just ate a pan of brownies cause I wrote about how you shouldn’t (well, not directly, obvs) then oh well. Tomorrow's a new day. :) RA RA RA Gooooooooo You!
Soo I AM LOVING THE Pictures of Food YOU are sending me. And the nice notes I am getting and the success stories already. Peeps, it’s been not even been a month since I started writing and hello, you’re noticing changes!
So once upon a time, in REAL life, this was doable. Still is. I’m not going back.
So yes, I have failed. And it stunk. Chalk it up to another learning experience. Life, *sigh*.
Yeah, I don't miss this chick.
But look at my chubby cuddly boys! OOOOOh!! I will never NOT miss that! Mmmm
OH PS! You and me, our challenges, strengths, and weaknesses are different, but if the whole world was full of me's, eeek we'd be in a heap of trouble... and pink.